Broken Dreams
by Adrasteia Wen
Summary: InuKag Kagome takes a walk at night to sort her thoughts and remove her mask... Rated so because I felt like it, and I said the word breast


**A/N: All right, one night, when I couldn't get to sleep because I got that damn flu thing, I heard this song by Green Day and couldn't get the fucking thing out of my head, so I wrote this. I'vehad the idea with Kagome for a while but well, I'm hoping to kill two birds with one stone here. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", though, I would be hella rich if I did.**

§Broken Dreams§

_**I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But its home to me and I walk alone**  
_

Kagome gently slid the rice paper door to her room shut, trying hard not to make enough noise to startle anyone in the spacious residence awake. The Lord of this part of the land had rewarded the small, rather odd group of travelers with dinner and shelter for the night as gratitude for slaying a powerful and quite bothersome demon. Everyone had eaten to their fill and retired to their separate rooms, an extra courtesy of the kind-hearted nobleman.

Quietly pulling on her shoes, Kagome tiptoed across the grounds, sneaking into the woods: she needed some time to think.

**_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
When the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone  
_**

When Kagome was sure she was in the coverage of the forest, she walked normally down a slightly beaten path. She breathed deeply, finally letting her confront the thoughts that silently plagued her.

Just how had everything gone so strange? She knew it had started with the well and, of course, that damnable Shikon no Tama; however, she could have left it all, continuing with her normal life and forgetting everything, pretend that it never happened, but instead she had stayed and gotten herself attached to this world and the people in it.

The people…

Kagome sighed, following along the trodden way in which she had chosen to embark almost listlessly.

**_I walk alone  
I walk alone  
_**

She had grown to care so much about her friends in this era, so much so that she practically abandoned her own, thus estranging herself from her given world. Kagome didn't feel…right…there anymore, not like she had before all of this had started. Where does one turn to when her home no longer feels like home?

Well, thankfully, she wasn't a normal one and therefore _did _have a place that had become her new home. So what was the problem?

The problem was that she felt pretty much depressed in here, even though she kept her mask in line quite well. Yet here she was, taking it off, if only for one night, because no one can always keep a mask on for a long time without it getting a little dirty on the inside.

Kagome's logic for keeping up the charade of peace and joy was rather simplistic, almost childlike, in nature. If she was juggling a secret life from everyone in the modern era, and an unrequited love for a half-demon in another, what could one more ball hurt? Nobody needed to know the first two things, why would they need to know the last?

**_I walk alone  
I walk a..._**

The depressed young woman came to a fork in the road. The one on the right looked much like the path she was currently on but the one on the left had much more vegetation and growth, obviously the one less traveled. She took the left, curious as to what was at the end as she continued to host her other thoughts.

_InuYasha…_

She loved him, she loved him so much and it killed her know that she would eventually be cast aside without a backwards glance in favor of an animated clay pot with a portion of _her_ soul.

Or is it?

Is it really her soul?

Is she really Kagome, or is she…Kikyou?

People have told her many, many times that she was indeed the dead priestess, or at least her reincarnation, but did that make it so? She was given the name Kagome, but were her parents wrong? She was called by the name of Kagome, but were those people wrong?

The young woman knew she was suffering a major identity crisis, of that much she was sure, but what part of her was suffering it: the Kagome or the Kikyou?

**_My shadow's only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Til then I walk alone  
_**

When Kagome (or Kikyou) reached the end of the pathway, she was met with a small clearing that fell to a lofty cliff, bedded at the bottom were the classic jagged rocks rising up from the ground. Sitting near the edge, she pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around herself, hoping to comfort her mind by embracing her body.

She felt so…helpless, accentuated by the fact that she was the only one offering reassurance when she was the one who needed it so desperately.

**_Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah  
_**

Clinging frantically to her folded legs, Kagome buried her face into her knees, obscuring her vision of the night and the watchful eyes of the full moon. Her tears were soaking a small area of her sweatpants, seeping through the soft fabric and touching her slightly night-chilled skin. She shook with the wrath of her sobs, finding it hard to feel something solid enough to definitely hold on to.

She couldn't hold on to her world because it no longer felt that way.

She couldn't hold onto InuYasha because of he'll go to hell and leave her behind.

She couldn't even _fucking_ hold onto herself because she wasn't sure who she was.

"K-Kagome?"

**_I'm walkin down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone  
_**

The woman didn't answer when the voice called out a name: she wasn't sure whether or not that was truly who she was, so did she have the right to answer as such?

"Kagome? Are you okay? What are you doing out here so late?" the voice prompted, taking on a concerned tone, no doubt due to her appearance and her distraught body language. Despite the fact that she may not be 'Kagome', she turned to face the speaker, just to see who interrupted her thoughts and meager self-comfort.

She saw amber.

**_Read between the lines  
What's fucked up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
And know I'm still alive and I walk alone  
_**

InuYasha stepped closer to the shaking young woman, dumbfounded and concerned at the almost unbearable scent of bittersweet tears. She remained silent, staring at him with a haunted look of desolation that he had _never_ seen played out on her stormy azure orbs before.

It scared him.

"Kagome?" he asked again, feeling something in his heart squeeze when she quickly turned away from him in, if he saw it correctly, confusion.

"Am I?" she whispered back, starting to rock back and forth, shaking with _something_ so powerful that InuYasha wondered briefly if he could fight it.

"Are you what?" he quested, stepping closer to her, coming to sit beside her to observe her better. Her arms were wrapped around herself, giving off the aspect that she was trying to hold herself together, to keep from falling apart.

"Am I Kagome or am I Kikyou?"

**_I walk alone  
I walk alone  
_**

She tipped herself over to lie on her left side, facing away from the inu hanyou, still holding herself in a ball. She couldn't hold onto InuYasha, he wasn't her's to hold and that made her sob even more. "I'm h-h-hav-ving t-troub-ble telling the d-d-differe-e-ence," she continued, starting to loosen her hold on her legs, remembering that she couldn't hold onto herself either.

**_I walk alone  
I walk a...  
_**

InuYasha panicked when he saw that Kagome was letting go of herself, like she was just giving up. Thinking quickly, he pulled her up into his lap, hold her head to his shoulder and stroking her raven hair, mindful of his claws.

"You are Kagome," he whispered with no room for argument. "Ka-go-me. You are your own person and will always be so. This," he placed his hand over her left breast, "is Kagome's heart, and nobody can have Kagome's heart if they aren't Kagome."

"So I am Kagome?" she asked, looking up when she felt hid nod. "But somebody already has my heart."

**_My shadow's only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Til then I walk alone  
_**

"You have my heart," InuYasha heard her continue. His eyes widened when the sentence finally suck in. _'She…loves me?'_ he asked himself, letting the sudden elation wash over his chest and grow. "But I can't hold onto you if you're just going to leave me for hell."

The feeling almost left completely when he heard her words and felt her trying weakly to escape. Pulling her closer, InuYasha gently touched his lips with the silky petals of her own, his hand still over her heart.

**_Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah  
_**

The kiss was quick but treasured by both parties involved. Kagome felt her pulse accelerate slightly and was sure that InuYasha felt it as well: with his hand where it was. Confusion held her immobile as she tried to sort through her thoughts.

"You have my heart, too," InuYasha's voice whispered by her ear, his warm breath tickling the shell. "I love you. I love Kagome."

Kagome pulled back to look into his ocher eyes, reflecting the same emotion but still holding onto some worry. "But will you leave Kagome?"

**_I walk alone  
I walk a...  
_**

"Never, no matter what," InuYasha answered. "You will always have me to hold onto." His lips descended on her's again, thrilled when he felt her heartbeat increase under his palm. He boldly ran his tongue along her lower lip, pleased when she opened to him, letting their tongues meet in a joyous union.

InuYasha shivered slightly at the feeling tingling down his spine and the sweet taste of Kagome's mouth, tainted by her previous tears. This kiss lasted much longer then the other, acted on more completely by both people.

When it did end, Kagome looked up at him and asked, "What about…Kikyou? What about your promise to her?"

InuYasha chuckled and shook his head slightly, holding one hand in his empty one before placing against his heart, pressing it there. "I'm alive," he pressed his other hand to her heart, "and you're alive. She isn't. People don't make promises to dead people, they make promises to people who were alive and died. I'm not going with her, but may the gods try to stop me, I'd follow you and I wouldn't regret it at all."

**_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
When the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a..._**

Kagome felt something deep within her that she had been missing for a while in InuYasha's arms. "I feel like home here," she murmured. "Of all the places, of all the times, I feel like I belong _here_." Kagome looked up at him and smiled for the first time since she ever removed her mask. "I love you." InuYasha smiled as well.

"I love you, too." He paused for a second. "Kagome, how long have you been feeling like that?"

"Long enough to try and find solace by a cliff," she responded not looking him in the eyes. "It's so hard being told that you're someone that you're not without starting to question it."

"Would you have…jumped?"

"I might have," Kagome answered with a chilling sureness; she felt InuYasha hold her tighter. "But I don't think that I want to anymore, now that I can hold onto something after so long of just falling and wear my mask."

"Are you…better?" InuYasha tentatively asked, stroking her hair again.

"Not yet, but I will be."

**_My shadow's only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
Til then I walk alone_**

§

**A/N: Yeah, I know, it sucked and it was _way_ shorter than I usually write them but I tried, and I kind of liked it. Well, anyway, review cause it'd be nice...unless you flame me then it would be not nice.**


End file.
